How to prepare
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Explore the pathways
This page is full of ideas on how to start a conversation and how to make them useful and motivating on an ongoing basis. It’s important to be aware of all the options, including those you may know less about, like technical education, and discuss what could be right for your child. But neither of you should feel pressure to have all the answers – by talking regularly you can continue to explore options together.
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Conversation cards
If you want help getting a conversation started – whether your child knows what they want to do or not – we’ve created Conversation Cards to help you. Just choose the deck that’s right for your child and work through the cards together. You don’t need to complete them all in one go, or come to a full decision by the end as they may throw up some questions that take time to explore, but they will help you reach some decisions together.
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Share your own experience
The choices you’ve made will be interesting and useful for your child to know, whether you are currently in work, seeking work, have full-time caring responsibilities, or are retraining. You can share your experience, using one of our planning tools. The Action Plan helps you explore the routes your child would like to take whereas the Pathway Planner helps you identify the decisions that need to be made as part of exploring career aspirations.
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Use school or college resources
Your child’s school or college will have a range of different resources to support your career conversations with your child. This will include a programme of events and activities that run over the course of the year. Some of these will be a good opportunity to discuss your child’s options, so it is worth attending when you can.
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Let them lead
Listen to your child’s opinions about their options and ask questions to help them make decisions. Letting them lead will help to keep your conversations positive and if they’re unable to answer your questions, remember there are lots of resources to help them and you. The Action Plan helps you explore the routes your child would like to take whereas the Pathway Planner helps you identify the decisions that need to be made as part of exploring career aspirations.
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Talk regularly
Try and make your child’s interests, aspirations and career ideas part of everyday conversations, not just a topic for those times when big decisions need to be made. The more you talk, the wider range of things you can cover. This will make those big decisions about which subjects to study, or which college or training opportunities to pursue, much easier.
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Encourage independent research
Encourage your child to do their own research, using the resources provided by their school or college and by other national organisations online. If there’s a specific career they’re interested in, you can suggest they find out what education and training are required. Their school or college can recommend specific resources. There are links to useful websites in our resources section too.
Keeping conversations positive and productive
Talking about the future can feel daunting for you and your child. These tips from psychologists and neuroscientists, who specialise in understanding teenagers, can help you keep conversations relaxed, supportive and open.
Remember, very few people know from a young age what they want to do with their working life. So don’t feel you or your child needs to have the answer straightaway. The main thing is to take the first step with an initial conversation and then to keep the conversation going over time to explore ideas.
Children can experience feelings of anxiety when asked to think about choices they know will affect their adult lives. They can easily shut down if they feel pressured in a conversation, so try and keep things light. Smaller, regular conversations will help this.
Start a conversation by asking them about their passions, skills, and subjects they love. This will really help them feel heard and should enable a more positive conversation.
Remember, short, bite-sized interactions in an informal setting, such as over dinner or when you’re watching something together, are likely to make your child more receptive, compared to more formal, planned conversations. Smaller interactions will feel more natural and less pressured.
You may feel more comfortable speaking in a side-by-side setting outside the home like walking to the shops or travelling in a car or train. Your child may open up more if they’re not being looked at directly or having to make eye contact.
Ask open-ended questions, rather than ‘yes/no’ answers, and really listen. Be supportive and follow their lead. Always remembering that there is more than one route to every destination and if your child’s interests and aspirations change, their pathway can adapt.
